With My In-Laws

Yesterday, or last night, marked my last day in Convergys. Finally I’m done with the clearance. I also have now my trophy with me at home after 7 hours standing there in elevator lobby to wait for people I know who might be able to help me. I feel so relieved and also sad at the same time knowing that I might not see my good friends from Convergys again, just like in Sykes. Anyway, I need to focus on 2012.

I spent the two-day clearance in Convergys and San Pedro. Psyche was so cute and showing serious signs of hyperactive personality. She wanted us to play catch-the-ball in the middle of the night! She was very talkative. And being there for one night, she thought I would be staying there for good with my little bag, laughs! So on Tuesday night, while I was waiting in Convergys to get my precious trophy, Mama sent me a text message about the two donuts Psyche received from a cousin. Psyche said that she would wait for me before she eats the donuts. She wanted to wait for me so to share it with me. I was deeply touched just like those in Hallmark moments. Psyche was so good at making people cry in a good way, if you know what I mean. And hey, for the records, I did not literally cry there in the elevator lobby, laughs! What I’m saying is I’m missing her, our family, the old times.

I don’t get to see them like we used to do before. I put my faith in God’s promise the He would bring my family back together in one house. Sometimes this makes me jealous of my wife her being with her family all the time. Gracia always tells me that if it’s the other way around, it’s not going to be a problem with her. That might be true. But it is still different when it’s happening. You know, it’s more than a statement. It’s a daily life for me.

Don’t get me wrong. Her family which is now my family, too, is great. Her mother is amazing and very sweet. Her sisters are awesome. Every one is wonderful, including their in-house cousin Arnel. Her Papa is also nice to me but it’s a bit awkward most of the time because he rarely talks. I could see the effort in the two of us but we always kind of fail to connect. Perhaps it is because he never had a son. Maybe it’s me who had a chain of father issues before. That’s going to be a long story to tell. What I am saying is that we want to get along as a family but it’s not easy, I just realized.

During my first months with them, I had this silent, or secret, competition with the other sons-in-law. No one was really competing. I think it’s more of manly pride? Can’t get the right thing to say. Let’s get down to the story.

Last Sunday Gracia and I spent almost the whole afternoon after church shopping for the Christmas gift for her co-employee for their company’s Christmas party this Saturday. I was really tired but I was kind of showing off, making her feel that I was a very supportive husband which was sincere act from me. After that, when we got home, I was like relaxing while reading a magazine. Just like any other woman, she wanted to fix everything before we went on relaxing. I was even joking at her that she was acting like a mother now, laughs!

Then she wanted me to pin those belt holders behind the door but I was kind of into the magazine’s interesting article. Before I knew it, her Papa was in our condo-type room doing the nailing. It was very embarrassing as if I was not a man enough to drill those nails into concrete walls. I tried to get the hammer from him but he was determined to finish it all by himself. I know that it was no big deal for him. But for me, I was kind of hurt and very embarrassed. I had a hard time getting over with it.

Then next day came in. I was cleaning our house as part of my house-husband role when Kiel, Gracia’s nephew, started knocking outside our window. Automatically I opened it for him and one of his little fingers got caught and in the next seconds, he was crying hysterically. Everyone was very concerned and that included me. I felt ‘Strike Two’ blinking over my head as Gracia’s father trying to comfort his grandson. I felt so exhausted that I spent hours sleeping until it was time for me to get ready for my trip to Convergys.

Now I am back here in San Pablo and I felt so blank, trusting God in everything. Tried reading Bible but it’s…I don’t know. I know I kind of need some help here but if someone asks what kind of help, I don’t know the answer.

But I’ll be fine. I know that because I always will, by the grace of God.

I Will Always Be Convergys

My last day in Convergys.

Almost Ending 2011

I can’t believe that the year is almost ending! I know it’s too early for me to write my year-end post but I feel like doing something like that today.

Year 2011 has been very tough and soul-exhausting for me and for my family. It was like the stains of 2010 had found its way to crawl into this year. I was hopeful with my family that 2011 would be our year. 2010 ended in a complicated move to a different house which I had to give up the small savings Gracia and I had for our wedding to pay almost everything. That was exactly the last day of 2010. So we celebrated the first day of 2011 in a new home.

We did not have so many foods and we did not have any fireworks to celebrate the New Year with. But great the LORD was that we had enough on our table and we even had a bottle of red wine, plus we were together. We were complete except for Christina who has her own family in Bulacan. I was positive that everything would be okay as I liked so much the new house. It was brighter than the old one.

We began the year with family prayers which was so beautiful and the hope was so fresh that it was almost reaching the face of the sky.

The money issue still crawling into each new day but it was manageable. Papa was getting better and he started working again. But Gracia and I were worried about getting married this year. It had been taken aside for so many times due to recurring reasons. We were losing hopes and we felt that if we did not do anything to hold the wedding this year, the hope which was so little by then might be lost and I knew in my heart that when the fire began to die, it would take a long way to see it spark again. So we sought all help we could get.

In our families meeting where Gracia and I would announce formally that we were getting married, we insisted to get married in May of this year. And we did not have a single penny for the wedding at all! All we had was love and faith.

Our hope got excited when we received a Yes from my biological grandfather that he would support us, especially in money matters. In the end, it only broke my heart into million of pieces when I was left hanging in the air a week before the wedding. I felt so hurt and it was more painful when I was getting blamed for their decision. But glory to God that Gracia and I got married in May of this year. It was not a grand kind of wedding but it was really beautiful. It cost us to give up Gracia’s purchasing power for the next six months, if you know what I mean. So we were on a very tight budget but we were very happy.

A month after the wedding, Papa had a serious heart problem and he was taken to a private hospital in Pacita, San Pedro which goal was to increase our bills. I said this because after two weeks staying in that hospital, we insisted transferring him to the Philippine Heart Center where the doctor there told so many things which should have been done since day one but were not in the former hospital. The expenses were unbelievable. We had been humbled way below the ground. But we kept trusting God in everything for He never failed us.

Then Gracia’s sister gave birth to Ethan James in August. In less than a week, the baby got a fever and was diagnosed with infection of the blood. The bill was incredible. We thought that was it until in September, Gracia’s another sister gave birth to Ezra Daniel through Caesarian. Aside from day to day worry seeing the little baby in the ICU with all those unforgiving tubes, the bill was overwhelming. The memory of my baby brother Jean Emmanuel kept crossing in my thoughts. Although it was not entirely on us, since we are family, we care and we tried our best to help.

Gracia and I had so much to bear. I was thinking about us, about my family, and about her family. It was the grace of God that we got to survive each day. I tried to calm down every time I saw my brothers getting thinner. Praise the LORD that they were born with beautiful faces.

The distance of my travel to work everyday took its toll on me in my birth month, the month of October. Prior to this, I felt like I was always sick but I ignored that as much as I could. The first Sunday of that month, I was diagnosed with Intestrial Pneumonia and later that week, I bled again because of UTI. The Urologist said I had Kidney stones based on the ultrasound results. It was a very uncomfortable situation to me and to Gracia. Gracia was also sick that time.

In that same month, my family had to vacate the house because of the old reason. I had been fighting for this, to keep my family all together in a house but everything seemed so against me. I tried to resort to writing again but after writing half of the story and not getting any call or message from any publishers, I lost my heart and was not able to finish writing. It was so difficult that I could not join my family in the transfer. What broke my heart was the fact my family had to be distributed. Roron had to be in Bulacan. Calvin had to go to a boarding house in Calamba and Jojo in Santo Tomas. Thank God that Alex was offered to stay with Franz, a friend from church until the end of school year. The rest would join Tita Sol in San Pedro.

All of this had put so much Ginger (Depression) on me. Every hour I worried so much in thinking if they had something to eat, if they were safe. Also I was concerned about the people they were with. I also knew, even if they were not putting it in words, they were all hurting and left with no choice but to live with it. I felt so lost and failed.

Then Nanay, my mother in law, had her operation in October. Praise God that it was successful. Also Calvin got another scholarship. God was so amazing that He always assures me everything is in His mighty control.

I fought Ginger with the hope coming from the LORD, believing in His promise that there would come a day that my whole family would eat together in one same table with so much to eat as prophesied to my sister Nikka Lynn by one of our Pastors.

I still have so many discomforts in my body even though the medication for my kidneys was successful. This and so many other things including my long travel to work are putting me on plate of hard decision-making. It was getting harder for me to travel a long distance everyday. I thought of resigning and look for a new job somewhere near in our place. The back pay would definitely help. I had talked to my boss and to the boss of my boss and I was so grateful with those kind words they said about me. But I am getting the Old Allergy again. I was losing the will to fight and this affects everything.

Last night I realized my decisions were selfish. My prayers were more of complaints than of communicating to God. Today, I am praying that when I finalize my decision about everything, this would glorify God and would benefit all that are involved. Also, I pray that the decision would be a decision I could keep until the decided day.

Funny Chat

Funny Chat

Now that time is running before the team gets disbanded in September, everyone is always making sure to have fun on the floor.

One time, we were playing on the chat room. When someone left his or her computer unlocked, Ellen, Robyn, Nikka, and Ivan were playing on that person’s chat! Well, it was only on the team chat. And it was really funny!

See the pictures below.

Also I want to share the newspaper versions of the picture during the Class Awards in Convergys where I got this!

Missing Heart

Yesterday I was anticipating seeing Psyche when I went home to Calamba but to my disappointment, there was only Papa at home. I prepared breakfast for him. I even joined him in breakfast. We had Sinigang Na Baboy, Fried Bangus, and Sopas but he did not want the Sopas so I ate the Sopas all by myself.

He watched TV the whole day. I easily fell into a sleep as I lay on my stomach. I woke up to Eat Bulaga. We were laughing together at Jose’s jokes. Then we only had Instant Pancit Canton for lunch. He also had some of his garlic bread and the peanut sandwich cookies which were supposedly for Psyche. He could not eat something else.

Secretly I was hoping that my brothers would come home earlier that day because I wanted to see them. But it was getting late that I did not see them when I left home. I kissed Papa a goodbye and I saw the sadness in his eyes I always see recently. Somehow it hurt my heart and I felt guilty leaving him alone there. Part of me was telling me to stay a bit until someone got home to replace me. But also another part of me was reminding me that I had to meet Gracia after her work so we could go home in San Pablo together.

I was feeling heavy-hearted when I decided to meet Jae Em. But instead of updates with each other when I got to their house, I found his Ate Mabel there and I enjoyed listening to her funny stories from her work.

After that, I went to SM City Calamba to fulfill a promise. I went to National Bookstore and bought Gracia a beautiful Sketchpad. It is called Minerva. When I saw it I knew it was the one for Gracia. When I checked the price, I coughed playfully and decided to look for something else. I found affordable ones but they did not level to the beauty of Minerva Sketchpad. So I decided to take the Minerva one instead.

I also remembered as if Gracia was inside my head whispering, “Uy, don’t forget about the water color pencils.” With a smile on my face, I looked for water color pencils and it took me just a few seconds to find one and err, the price caused my heart to skip a beat or two, laughs!

Before I knew it, I was there standing before the cashier to pay for the sketchpad and its family. I was so excited to see Gracia to give it to her. I also bought myself a cheap but decent notebook. I thought I needed inspiration now that I am back to real writing.

On my way to Batangas to meet Gracia, my heart was still feeling heavy because of the situation of my family. It hurt a lot. It is getting difficult and tiring to define this pain. But something in me is hopeful and knowing that it will end real soon. I just have to wait and let myself see how the Hands of God move in our lives. Truth is that I cannot do this anymore. And glory to God who is the source of all my hope, faith, and strength. It is not easy but I can still smile a real smile.

On the other hand, at work, VGH or Voluntary Go Home (We are offered to go home early if there are not much calls in queue. This is not paid. ) is flooding on the floor everyday, making people on the floor buzz about the unwanted change maybe real soon.

In Team May, I think everyone is secretly emotional about the disbanding of the team this September. 

Everyone is taking time to join team breakfasts and other bonding time.

Well, we’ll see.

Team May: The New Horizon. The Second Team Building

The Final Interview

Just when everyone in Team May was so excited about the team building as the shift was about to end when a new chat-room from Ms. Jo popped up on my screen as I assisted a customer on the phone. Felt like all the sleeping butterflies suddenly got disturbed and their wings were flapping like they were giving me instant LBM right there! Oh my, I was so not prepared! All I was thinking was the team building. But there it was, asking me to take the interview for QA Apprentice post right after shift. Boy, I was so heart-brokenly nervous!

So the verdict started as I got fetched by Kai, all I was praying to God was to guide me all the way. One thing was sure, I could not do it all by myself. So I couldn’t control my brain from thinking of exaggerating thoughts.

When I was being interviewed, I was more nervous than before. When I was asked to rank myself about computer work, I gave Mr. Bert a nine score to rate myself. But he asked specifically about Microsoft Excel. I did not know what to say. All I knew was I badly wanted to be part of QA team and so I could do researching more. I saw Jeremy Castro at Mr. Bert’s back giving me hint with his fingers and I couldn’t see it clearly because I did not want to take away my eyes from Mr. Bert. I thought I saw Jeremy Castro showing me ten fingers. But I didn’t think I could take ten for my score so I stuck to nine, leaving one more finger for room of improvement.

Then Mr. Bert asked me list of questions about Microsoft Excel. “Do you know this?” I hesitated a bit and said, “No.” Then another do-you-know-this question which was answered by me with another No. And there were like three more questions and answers like that. Oh my! Then the question was asked again, “How do you rate yourself in Microsoft Excel?” With humble voice I said, three.

Scream! Oh my goodness! That shattered all of me right there in front of him. Still, I let Father God to do the rest of it. Please LORD…

Team May: The New Horizon. The Second Team Building

Part One: Si Mang Fred

The setup was that Robyn, Lief, and Julius would join Saundra and John in their car. The rest hopped into Dan’s van. I took the front seat with Arjie. Laine was also with us. The travel itself was already fun. Jokes filled the van. Ellen joined forces with Chester in making fun of me, laughs!

When we got in Pansol, we were received too much of ‘hospitality’ from ‘resort barker’. We waited for Mang Fred, our guide to Villa Emma where we would celebrate our team building. I wouldn’t be able to detail out the ‘eyeball’ we had with Mang Fred, gulo niya kausap sa phone! It took us almost thirty minutes to finally find him. He said on the phone he was wearing yellow shirt and we got a bit paranoid out of too much impatience that we literally harassed all who wore yellow passing by our parked van, laughs!

After one thousand years, we found Mang Fred and he led us on his humble bike to Villa Emma. Smiles.

Part Two: The Battle Of Cooks

Everyone was busy cooking the foods. I was trying to help by preparing the other ingredients, naks! Ellen was with Chester. Dan was busy in his specialty, the tacos! Laine got too occupied with her early session with Gay with The Bar that they almost burnt the spaghetti pasta, laughs!

When everything was almost ready, TL May and Saundra went up to their room and prepared the games. Getting hungry, Laine and I began to eat. Boy, the food was great! Even though it did not look so presentable on our table, I’m telling you, it was great! In fact, you could ask Laine about the foods! Laughs! She couldn’t stop eating!

Part Three: Playing The Games

We played Charade in which my team lost! Laughs! Then we ate our lunch together. Then we played the famous Pinoy Henyo (Pinoy Genius) where we were divided into two teams. I was with Princess, Robyn, Laine, and Dan. Every turn, each team should choose a representative who would pick the word he would need to guess by asking questions to his team mates. His team mates would only be allowed to say No, Yes, and Maybe. And it was timed to two minutes.

There were so many funny moments. There was a time when it was Dan’s first turn that he was so excited to represent our team. He first picked the word Liempo (for those who don’t know, it’s like barbeque). Dan had a hard time guessing the word. Funnier part was that when it was the chance of the other team to steal, they could not even guess the word! Laughs!

When it was Dan’s second turn, he picked the word Puso (heart). And, again, he did not guess the word. And I said good job because the other team could not also guess the word.

On the last part, Dan wanted to make the guess again and that time the other team was a point ahead of us. I quickly pushed Dan back down to his seat and said, “Oh please don’t!” Laughs! That was the only chance we had to at least to tie with the other group.

We forced Robyn to take the guessing job, laughs! And in no time she was able to guess the word Canada.

For the tie breaker, everyone agreed that each group would give the word that the opposite team needed to guess. Dan suggested Internet. Gay, from the other group, almost guessed the word. Then, again, Dan took the guessing job. The word was Dandruff. I doubted he could even get close to the word at all. But guess what? He did it! He was able to guess the word! Laughs! We won!

Then we ate, sang the videoke, others drank, Chester slept upstairs, and made fun of each other.

Part Four: In The Pool

Again, I don’t swim. Still, I like skipping in the pool, laughs! Scariest part was when Gay and Laine were trying to pull down my shorts, laughs! Good thing it was tied real hard that they could not even pull it close to my knees! But that was so scary, laughs!

And there was so much fun in the pool.

Part Five: Going Home

It felt bitin when we had to leave by five. I hope there would be another team building.

Part Six: The Pictures