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Monday, March 29, 2010

1. Dreaming and Losing

I want to be a writer of best-selling novels. I know that people would start raising brows. Some would roll their eyes in dismay. That’s understandable. But I have reasons when I say this. And my reasons are more than mere monetary goals, or fame. Although these things will be part of it.

I say this because if you have written best-selling novels, it only means that there are so many people who are touched by your stories. In simpler sense, people like your stories. That idea is a lot more precious than the most expensive gift anyone in this world could ever give to an artist like me. Just thinking of it, I already feel like standing on the top of the world.

I don’t’ want fame. I don’t want riches of the world more than I would need to survive a day with just three meals. I think what I am really saying here is that I want to be appreciated through my writings. However, every time I spread my wings to fly and let my pen lead my writing journey to victory, I always fall and get hurt. I wake up realizing I need to start over―and the most hurting part here is to realize that I need to say the word―AGAIN.

I am on my favorite part of the earth. It is like a small cliff by the farm, an outskirt of our small city. The moonless sky is filled with stars, making it just perfect for my angst to get across my beautiful mouth so that all the terrestrial living things would tremble upon hearing my presence.

“I will get there! Yes, I will get there! I will become the best writer of the world! You hear me? Just wait and I will get there!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, as if I wanted the whole world to hear me.

“Hey, what’s your problem? If you can’t sleep, let tired people who need to get up early the next day sleep! Why don’t you go home and sleep!” Someone shouted back to me from one of the nearby apartments.

“Sorry po!” As embarrassment kills me, my feet start to run. Err, define embarrassment!

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